Wally DM

You’re going to come across a lot of great DMs, GMs, and players, while following this Blog page at Wally DM. One thing we all have in common is a love of role-playing games, and we all bring different perspectives and experiences to share.

I will set my stall out right now – as a seasoned DM, running campaigns, one-shots, and on-line conventions games – I often get approached by people saying they would love to be a DM but they are scared to begin. In this series I will tackle this – or how I approach it, because there is no right or wrong way, every DM has their own style.

I welcome comments, and if you ask questions then I will try to answer them, possibly with a subsequent blog if there is more detail to go into.

Being a Games Master is not as scary as people think. In 99% of cases then everyone around the table wants the same thing – to have fun. Throw away that imposter syndrome (more of that in another blog) and enjoy the ride. There is one responsibility the Games Master has though, and that is to ensure the table is safe. And no, I don’t mean the carpentry. Mental safety.

Role playing is incredibly powerful. A good game can funnel a lot of emotions. This is why playing can be very helpful for people struggling on the spectrum. It provides a safe outlet, and a chance to explore different feelings safely.

However, unchecked, things can sometimes go off the rails unintentionally. Safety tools are a way to prevent that. There are loads of options available. Don’t make it too complicated, safety tools should be easy to use. These are the ones I keep at hand and brief the players on for every game, no matter how short.

Lines and Veils

Start before a game with lines and veils. Ask players individually, not in a group where they may feel pressured into certain answers. I have seen some GMs using a questionnaire which can be helpful as it depersonalizes the responses, when discussing it may be uncomfortable. Lines are things that cannot be crossed, should not happen in a game in any circumstance. Veils are areas that can occur but not be described, like they are behind a curtain.

For example, and to prevent touching on something that may trigger readers, maybe a player has a fear of gummy bears. They may say that this is a line, in which case a gummy bear should never appear in the game. Or it might be a veil, yes some characters may eat gummy bears in game but there should be no description of the flavour, consistency, or shape.

Red Card

Once the game has started then situations may occur that are hard for people. Allow for the use of the “Red Card”. This is a hard stop. No one should ever have to explain why. At the table you can even have a physical card. Or have a virtual image your players can flash up. Or simply let them privately message you. However you do it, if you get a red card then stop the game. Give people time to breathe.

Playback

The other group of tools are as simple as your music player. I was going to say tape deck, but that ages me.

Pause – time for a breather. A scene maybe getting intense and the player may need a moment to gather their thoughts. Once everyone has settled then you can get back on with the action.

Fast forward – when the player wants to skip over a scene, effectively a fade to black moment. This works hand in hand with lines and veils. The scene happens but without description.

Rewind – a chance to redo a scene if someone is uncomfortable with it.

Actions Have Consequences

Safety Tools are not an excuse for players to avoid the consequences of bad decisions. If a player decides that their PC is going to try and stab the two guards in front of the city bank then they should not call rewind when they find themselves in gaol. Therefore safety tools require trust on all sides. But if they do then you should go along with it.

Don’t challenge a player on a use of the safety tools. At the time then accept it. Even if it does seem that they are just seeming to try to avoid gaol. You don’t know what someone’s triggers may be. If it seems to be a pattern then certainly discuss it with the player. Maybe you two just aren’t a match.

Real Life Example

It took a tough experience for me to come to realize the importance of safety tools. I was a player in this situation, but I absolutely added to the problem when I should have spoken up. However, we didn’t have an agreed approach and it all got out of hand. By the time we realized then we had lost the DM and a player.

What happened?

It started simply enough. During a asynchronous adventure on a D&D Discord server, our happy band were sent to investigate strange happenings in a nearby town. We arrived and began poking around. It soon became obvious that there was some sort of mind control involved. I might write a separate article on the challenges of quests where player agency is removed by the DM taking control of their PCs, but back to safety tools.

One of the PCs began acting strangely. Key here though was not only did the PC start acting strangely but the player did as well. The PC wouldn’t respond to in game questions or events, they became puppet-like, following the rest of us. And when asked out of character the player just kept saying “I’ll do what you want”. This lack of response became frustrating for us all and soon the tensions were rising. The PC became the focus as we tried to work out what was going on. The DM gave us no support and our in game questioning became tougher, and we became convinced the PC was under some sort of mind control.

This went on for days. That’s when, if we had set up our safety tools, we could have flagged things. There was time.

Until my PC slapped the unresponsive one. In my defense, taking damage is a known way to break many forms of mind control in D&D. And it was just a slap. But I did break server rules, PvP should only be by consent. The problem was that all communication had broken down. The quest seemed stuck.

The player immediately quit. The build-up and finally the slap had triggered something. They were unable to handle it. But it didn’t end there. All of us were traumatized by the experience. Traumatized may seem a strong word. It is. But the DM also left the server soon after. And I had to leave for a while, in fact I almost stopped playing but my commitment to the campaign I was running kept me in the game long enough for me to assess and research what had happened.

I was shocked by how intense everything was. For a while if I even thought about it then I could feel the stress levels mounting. I never wanted to be in that situation again, and I didn’t want anyone else going through it.

Summary

Safety tools are nothing more than a way to ensure everyone is still having fun around the table. They form an agreed approach to communication beforehand. Like most insurance policies, hopefully you will never need to put them into action. But if you do, you will be pleased to have them. They may just keep your table together and provide years more enjoyment of the game.