It’s June, Pride Month, and I am, and have long been, an unapologetic supporter of the LGBT+ community. This article is not about why. Why is simple, I think that people are people and love is love, and every time someone has taken another stance throughout history, they’ve been wrong at best, often embarrassingly so, and sometimes monstrously so.

This article is about part of my relationship with the LGBT+ community, specifically where that relationship overlaps with RPGs and gaming in general. I think there are lessons in this story which could improve your game, no matter who you are.

Joining La Gilda

In the summer of 2018, I permanently relocated to Bologna, Italy to join my soon-to-be wife. It was a time of a lot of adjustments, I had left my job and friends behind, changed culture, changed language, changed my whole life.

In the months before moving, I had gotten back into RPGs after a few years away, drawn by the renaissance led by D&D 5e and Critical Role. Like a lot of people in the hobby, one of my first steps after moving was to find gaming groups and stores. I found a few in Bologna, which I started to frequent. They were generally friendly, but the one that stood out was La Gilda.

La Gilda is a gaming group connected with Cassero, the oldest LGBT+ center in Italy. The group is visibly queer by design, by and for the LGBT+ community. Obviously, LGBT+ centers aren’t there to handle confused foreigners. My problems felt so much smaller than the prejudice and stigma many of the members face. So, when I first walked in as a straight cis man, I wasn’t sure what the vibe was going to be.

The vibe was among the warmest welcomes I received in Italy. Immediately, a volunteer in pink caught me at the door. “Buongiorno, benvenuti, è nuovo qui? Ecco un name tag con pronomi.” For a moment I paused. “Aspetti, Ilaria!” After a few seconds, a woman, also in pink, came over and addressed me in solid English. Never a question. Never an issue. 

They set me up at a table where a game was just starting. Throughout the afternoon, they made sure there was a translator anywhere I sat. I wasn’t just allowed, wasn’t just accepted, wasn’t even just welcomed. I was actively provided for and made to feel safe and comfortable in that space in which I was very much an outsider in many ways. I needed a space, they had a space, I was made at home.

Because of schedules, I couldn’t attend La Gilda events as often as I wanted, but every time, that was how it went. The first time I returned, I was treated like an old friend who’d been there a hundred times. Even having left the city with my wife to change jobs and raise kids, my pink Gilda shirt is still one of my treasured bits of gaming gear. 

So What?

Other than praise for a truly remarkable group of people, there’s a lesson here for anyone running games in a public setting. Make it a safe space; make it home. 

Don’t assume people are comfortable with the hobby, or with the community, the language, the culture. Meet people where they are and make an effort. Introduce them to new people and make sure to make getting started as gentle and joyful as possible. 

Inclusion is inclusion is inclusion. A space that was made to be accepting and safe for the LGBT+ community can do the same for immigrants, disabled individuals, or just people who need a place to be.

People come into RPGs and gaming in general from a lot of different places. Many of them are looking for escape, a little fun and comfort in a world that can lack both. Give them that, offer it generously. Their struggle might not be profound, might not be obvious, but it’s there, and if you can make it easier, I think that’s what the hobby should be about.

Wrapping Up

I owe the folks at Gilda a deep debt of gratitude. They made moving to a new country and a new life easier, as did many other people in the Bologna gaming community.

In the end, I hope these thoughts get to someone and inspire them to make their space a bit more open, welcoming, and supportive. If that happens, maybe I’ve repaid a bit of what I owe to my friends back in Bologna.

Buon Pride a tutt*!

Happy Pride, y’all!